its ok if you didnt always know you were trans
its ok if you really felt like your designated gender. its ok if you really were a boy or girl at some point. its ok if you really would rather view your transness as changing from one thing to another (instead of a process…
I can keep my phone!
But of course not my charger cable, despite the fact that there are no outlets in this room. The nurses have it so I don’t hang myself (fortunately I am not desperate enough to hang myself with my phone cable).
I’m going to be transfered at some point tomorrow morning to an inpatient facility that is also likely going to be a solid commute out of town for my partner (I hope that she can visit me even though we’re not married…). I don’t know how long I’ll be there or how much longer I can keep my phone, but thank god I can have it on me tonight.
It’s okay, it’s not over for you. You’ll see me again. You’ve got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run!
As all hell. Scared but there are worse things I fear.
I’m going to the hospital tonight. I can’t keep myself safe anymore. I can’t expect other people to cope with the burden of my life let alone bear it. I’ve been wanting to kill myself for the past three weeks and it is inescapable [death is always inescapable for all of us is it not?]. I can no longer keep myself safe.
I don’t know if they’ll even hold me let alone admit me, nor do I know if I’ll be able to keep my phone. I won’t be posting for a while probably and anything that posts is going to be from my queue. Stay safe out there, readers.
Today I am thinking of women too often ignored or even hurt by the feminist movement. Trans women, women of color, disabled women, fat women, queer women, elderly women, poor women, women in prison, women who are sex workers, women who are undocumented, women who are more than one of the above. Today is your day, too. I celebrate you and your strengths.
And floating. I feel quite nice.